Is It A Crime?

This blog stems from a conversation that I had with my “bro”. I casually (but seriously) asked him if his new girl friend had any single male friends. I haven't met anyone new in a while and since I don’t go out often, nor work in a place with suitable men and happen to be VERY shy when it comes to strangers of the male variety; I found this to be a good option. Or so I thought…

I’m not sure how we began talking about my “list,” but I am pretty sure that it went a long the lines of him asking what I was looking for and me supplying the rundown. Now, before I go on, I want to say that I’m realistic enough to know that any guy I meet is not going to have all of the traits that I like.
Many of the traits I were joking about, one especially was about guys falling within a specific astrological sign. He wanted to end the conversation after that but I reassured him that I am not THAT bonkers. I have some dealbreakers, but that’s not one of them. Hell, I have been after a Sagittarius since forever and I KNOW that it would never work.

After a while I told him that he should just read my top 10 list of Turn Offs so that he can get an idea. I don’t have anything so harsh up there that would make me seem like I’m unrealistic. Is it a crime that I don’t want to deal with someone that smokes cigarettes, has homo-sexual tendencies, or is unmotivated to do anything? No, I don’t think so. Of course the real mistake that I made was asking him and not going straight to her. I’m sure he twisted EVERYTHING that I said to her when they spoke about my singledom. I told him that I’m not necessarily looking for a boyfriend/husband but a damn date. Maybe I should not have went on and on about a “list,” but F it, he asked.

So the next day I asked what the deal was, would I be setting some dates up and then he hit me with “She has some words for you.” All I could think was, “Oh boy, he done twisted some ish up and now she thinks I’m crazy or naïve.” When I told him about this “list” I explained to him that this is what a matchmaker does. They weed out the unsuitable prospects for the people that they are matching. If I were making an account on match.com, e-harmony.com, blackpeoplemeet.com etc, they would ask me even more specific questions.

I still don’t think I’m wrong. He asked me about looks, I said as long as I find them nice looking. He asked whether I preferred light skin v dark skin, I said, nope doesn’t matter. He asked about money, I said as long as they have a job, he countered that statement with “the economy, blah blah blah.” So I retracted my initial statement and said well he has to want something out of life and not sit on his ass all day. Once again I ask where am I wrong? Why do I need to get “words?”

Because he has a flair for the dramatic, I am going to say that he didn’t tell her about the details of the “list” but that I have a supposed “list.” The funny thing is I don’t have a LIST. I just know what I like and what I am willing to tolerate in a mate. Guys will definitely have their questions about me. I find that they are pickier than we are. We put up with WAY more ish than they do that’s for sure…or maybe that’s just me. Besides, I don’t need a book to tell me if someone is not that into me. I am good at reading people and seeing the signs that are in front of me. It's just a matter of taking heed ot those signs. I am the only one that can make the decision of wanting to “get with it or get lost.” I don’t or try not to play games so I don’t need to read The Rules. Games lead to drama, and I don’t do drama. Anything that Steve Harvey has to say about dating, I’ve heard before. Now, don’t get me wrong, reading those books are good for people that are looking for the answers that they already have but want further confirmation (not to say that if you do read them, there is something the matter with you, but I don’t really get into self-help books). I know enough about myself to know that nine times out of ten I’m pretty much not going to follow the words. I’m going to follow my heart and use what I learned from ALL of the mistakes that I made in the past. Now my question is, what words could someone have for me that I haven’t heard before?

I’m off the soapbox and no I am not proclaiming to know everything. My singledom is mostly by choice. I’m not getting in the way of my own happiness. I just know what’s good for me.


Thanks to all that read today and yesterday and I hope that you continue in the future.


Deuces

A little old school fo dat ass

Cameo - Single Life