MISS I THINK HE'S GAY

Miss I Think He’s Gay

I'm not sure if any of you watch the show Tough Love, but I have been watching since the very first episode. I started to watch because I thought that I might be missing something in my dealings with the menfolk. It's no secret that I'm single. There are reasons behind that singledom that I am slowly but surely coming to terms with. I've written in the past about dudes that I've dealt with, some good, others, not so good. All in all they've left an impression on me and I am definitely one for taking my mistakes and turning them into powerful lessons.

The women on the show have names that the coach has classified them as, you have Miss Bridezilla, Miss Gold Digger, Miss Fatal Attraction, just to name a few. The names are pretty much self-explanatory so I won’t delve too much into them. I mention their names only because I wonder what my name would be if I were on the show. It could be Miss Too Picky, especially if someone were to read my blog about my list of turn offs. It’s not a crime to know what I want and what I don’t want, but that’s not what this blog is about.

Before I go on, I just want to say that I have many male gay friends and they are truly near and dear to my heart. They are confident with their sexuality and who am I to judge? To each his own, that’s my philosophy. My problem lies with the men that are closeted homosexuals and are carrying on relationships with women knowing that they have urges to sleep with men. I understand that there are stigmas out there and it is extremely hard to be a Black man in society, let alone a gay Black man. But it is 2009, time to come clean. I’m not sure if the DL is strictly a black thing, but the way I see it, it’s mostly prevalent within our culture. I can’t speak on other races either because I am just a voyeur into their world.

After reading my boy’s blog over at NWSO and checking out Says The Single Girl. I decided to finally post the blog that has been sitting in my BB for months. NWSO’s blog struck a little cord with me because I might be one of those Black women that think that a lot of men are gay. I don’t claim to have the best “gaydar” but I can pretty much tell within minutes whether a guy has a little more tang than most. There are some guys that try to pull the trickery with the thugged-outness, but they can only pull the wool over my eyes for so long. When I was a teen I read all of E. Lynn Harris’ books and James E. Hardy books on the homo-thug population. Those aren’t the bibles, but they did help me to have a keener sense. There was also a time in my life when I would go to a couple of the gay clubs in NYC (if you’ve never been, go, it’s fun, only on the gay men nights though -torture but fun nonetheless). I definitely saw Craig and 'nem in the club posted up. Don't sleep.

As of late it has become a running joke. I spot a guy and claim him gay. No it’s not the “obvious” ones. It’s the ones that need that closer look. For one, I don’t like pretty boys or extra trendy metrosexual guys. That’s cool for some but give me a dude in a white tee and a fitted or a nice fitting suit any day. I don’t need my man to be fly and flashy. And don’t shoot me for this, but a little Harlem/BK swag never hurt anyone (yup I said it). I like my men a little rough around the edges. I realized this when I was in BK over the weekend. Of all the fine guys that were hipsterish or fly in their own way, I spotted the random dude with the grey thermal, jeans and Yankee fitted. Dude was fine (smh at my shyness right now).

But I digress, coming full circle now…I know that if I were to go on that show, Steve Ward would name my behind Miss Every Man is Not Gay. I have been working on not thinking this but I feel like gay is the new black. I know that it’s not just me so fellow readers what do you think? Are more men getting in touch with their extra femme side which is making them appear gay or are more and more men sinking deeper into the closet?

Once again thanks so much for reading, I appreciate ya and tell a friend. Definitely check out the video on Says The Single Girl's blog (link is above). I probably won't be the same again lol.