Stonger

While sitting on the train finishing up November's Essence (great issue, read it), my mind began to wander. This is not something new nor is it unwelcomed. As you might've read in my last blog, things have changed in my life. Instead of thinking about waking up early for work or getting the numbers ready for my boss; I am now thinking about this piece of freedom. I think about the friends that have been supportive and the ones that have been relatively MIA. I think about my business that has yet to be named and finally I think about this winter boo situation (Oh yea that is very serious). I'm ready to take the next steps for me. The right ones for me, not the ones that work best for others. I'm living my life for me and this remains a constant.

During this period of new found freedom I've been relying on my strengths. The strengths that helped me to get the job that let me go and the strengths that will allow me to start and grow a business. Many people don’t know their strengths. I’m realistic about what I can and can’t do. Admitting your weaknesses doesn’t make you a weak person it just means you have to try harder. It’s not like I woke up one day and said “Cocoa you are strong at this, that and the other.” Life has definitely taught me what my strong points are and it’s up to me to take advantage and utilize my god given skills in whatever I do. For example I am a doer (I like this word better). I’m not as organized as I’d like to be, but if I know what needs to be done, and have the means to do so, the job will be done. The first thing anyone can do is doubt themselves when things get hard or the future is foggy. I know that I’ve done that TOO many times. Doubt is the 400 lb gorilla in a special place in my brain that I have to soothe with a special banana called “I Can Do It!” It satisfies him for a moment, but then he starts up again. Doubt never leaves but it can subside if you put up your blockers. One thing that we have to do is keep telling ourselves that WE CAN DO IT! No one is going to do anything for you. I’ve relied on myself for so long and I know that I won’t let me down. When you find that the people that were once there for you when you had a job but slowly fade away because your moves don’t match their own or if your respective paths are going in different directions, you will still remain.

I will admit that this new found time has had its “boring, omg I have no one to talk to moments...” but that boring solitude helps me to get my thoughts in order. I still manage to keep my head. I’ll also add that this is also the first time that I haven't had a job since 2003 (I actually had one year to be a broke college student). Let’s see, hmmm…I got my first job when I was 16, went to the service at 17 (turned 18 in boot camp), got discharged at 18, started working at my first job again at 19, worked two jobs at 19, went to get my Associates, worked, worked, worked until 2003, got fired, started working again in 2004, worked, interned, graduated in 2006, worked two jobs off and on until 2009…Um yes a break is what was needed. I know what it is to grind and hustle (I’m from Harlem, it’s a birthright). This little time off is going to recharge my batteries. I’m not a Duracell, I can’t keep going and going aimlessly. I am learning to work smarter not harder. One thing people don’t do is take time out to just live.

The journey might be long, but I want to enjoy the sights while I can.

Thanks for reading, it’s a little long I know, thanks to that long commute from civilization to the boonies :)

The Clark Sisters - Blessed And Highly Favored

The Diva Lounge

Calling all Divas handling their business, we (myself and Shayna D) would like to invite you to our monthly networking event that is centered around women in the entertainment and marketing fields. We have been very blessed to get this far and we could not have done it without the help of the our very supportive attendees.

If you are in the NYC area and are serious about your business whether you are a singer, dancer, juggler, publicist, make up artist, painter, executive etc you are welcome to attend.

This month is a little special. We are giving a SHOUT OUT to four of our favorite blogs in a new series called WEB STARS!!!

Each of these ladies do something special in their given areas and we felt the need to celebrate them in the company of likeminded women.

Check them out!

Karen Civil
Music

Ms. Mo
Glamour/Beauty

Joy Daily
Lifestyle/Video
www.JoyDaily.tv

Gangstarr Girl
Hip-Hop Culture

A Brand New Me

It was September 1st, a day that I won't soon forget. I was actually early to work(before 9:30am). I even put an extra bit of care in my appearance and even wore shoes without bringing my old faithful flats (I had a meeting after work for something great). I sat at my desk and did a little dabbling online and tried to plan for the upcoming company move. Then my boss came into my office, I'd say it was about 11:30, definitely before 12pm and he asked to chat in his office. I thought it was about end of month issues. When I think back, he came in right as I was in the midst of a serious gchat conversation with one of my good friends. I was telling him that I was tired and needed a new job. He said something about hanging in there and you never know what's out there then I said sometimes you get what you wish for...

When I went to the office I saw a familiar face from HR. I didn't think much of it until I actually looked at them and soon realized what was about to go down. To say that I was shocked is an understatement. Given the nature of the economy and knowing what I knew about the previous weeks I shouldn've been as shocked but I was. The weird thing is I wasn't sad or angry. For a moment I was numb, then all of a sudden my brain was flooded with AMENs and !!!! (YES exclamation points lol). It was finally my time to do me. Being laid off is not an easy thing but you have to accept it. I took it all in stride with one small breakdown when I stepped outside of the offices for the final time. I did hold it together as I was being told the news (a couple tears did flow but no snot bubbles...that came 15 minutes later).

I felt a mix of emotions ranging from shock to relief and then came the big question, what's next? What do I do now? Do I take advantage of all this new free time and do me? Or do I go right back into the rat race and try to find another job that would eventually leave me unmotivated and unfufilled? I chose to do me until I find that job that will take me to the next level. I was very comfortable at my job and that is always a clear sign that it is time to go and look for something else. I knew that it was just a matter of time. Don't get me wrong, I really liked what I did most of the time, I liked the perks, my boss was the best boss that you could ever ask for, I didn't have a dress code and I didn't have anyone breathing down my neck about time. Many people would ask me why I was complaining since I had it "so good". From the outside looking in, I was cushy and living it up. But actually coming into the office became a bore. Clock watching sucks. I do hope that at my next job or new career path I have the same or similar perks. I actually hope that I won't need another boss for a long time...

As of now, I am focusing on my blogs, my radio show, a little acting and taking my cooking skills to the next level. The world is mine, Barack is the President and I can do what I please. I will not let anyone keep me down. It's up to me to make the moves that will get me to where I want to be.

But if you hear of anything holla at me lol :)

I am available for any hosting gigs and catering/personal chef jobs so keep me in mind for that.

The world is mine :)